“Are You Thick?”: How Toxic Bosses Are Driving Workers Out of Their Jobs

Toxic Bosses: On paper, the role at a small PR agency looked perfect for Maya (not her real name): a close-knit team, high-profile clients, and the promise of a fast-moving career.

What she did not anticipate was a manager whose behaviour she describes as deeply toxic one who set impossibly high standards and publicly humiliated staff who failed to meet them.

“She would regularly call people out in front of the whole team, flinging insults like ‘are you thick?’ and ‘this work is rubbish’,” Maya tells the BBC.

According to Maya, the behaviour went far beyond performance management and crossed into personal attacks. When a colleague mentioned hiring a personal trainer ahead of her wedding, their boss reportedly left a photograph of a “fat bride” on her desk.

Within months, Maya noticed a disturbing pattern. “Every single one of my colleagues would cry almost daily,” she says. Persistent sickness became common, largely driven by poor mental health. Eventually, Maya left the job.

Toxic Boss or Personality Clash?

Maya’s experience is far from rare. Research suggests one in three people have left a job because of a toxic workplace or a bad manager.

However, not every difficult boss is toxic, says Ann Francke, chief executive of the Chartered Management Institute. Understanding the difference, she argues, is crucial.

Many managers fall into what the institute calls the “accidental manager” category people promoted for technical ability rather than leadership skills. In such cases, poor behaviour is often driven by inexperience or uncertainty rather than intent.

A toxic boss, Francke explains, is different.

“They deliberately lack empathy and often self-awareness. They can actively undermine their team, take credit for others’ work, rule by fear, and impose unrealistic expectations.”

The consequences go beyond personality clashes. Chronic anxiety, fear of speaking up, and emotional distress can seriously damage both mental health and performance.

“If you have a knot in your stomach every Monday morning, find yourself avoiding corridors to escape confrontation, or feel scared to speak in meetings for fear of retribution—that’s toxicity, not a personality clash,” she says.

Constant Surveillance and Public Humiliation

Josie (not her real name) spent years working under a manager who monitored her relentlessly.

“She would call, text and voice-note me from 7am until 10pm,” Josie says. “Even on days she wasn’t working, she wanted to know where you were at all times.”

Projects were taken away and handed to others, and team members were deliberately excluded from group lunches.

Hannah (not her real name), who worked for a major supermarket chain, recalls repeated public humiliation. At one corporate event, she arrived wearing the same jumper as a guest.

“My boss made me take my jumper off and work the event in my vest—in November,” she says. “It was humiliating. I felt like such an idiot.”

Toxic Bosses on Screen—and in Real Life

The fraught relationship between a toxic manager and their employee is explored in the darkly comic thriller Send Help, in which a boss and subordinate are forced to confront unresolved tensions after becoming stranded on a desert island.

Speaking at the film’s premiere, actress Rachel McAdams, who plays the wronged employee, said she has experienced difficult workplaces herself.

“I just quit,” she said. “My advice would be to quietly quit if you can—and if not, try to practise some zen.”

How to Cope When Quitting Isn’t an Option

For many workers, walking away is not immediately possible. Francke says there are steps employees can take while planning their next move:

• Tell someone: Find a mentor outside your reporting line who understands the organisation and can offer honest, independent advice.
• Challenge the behaviour: Book a formal meeting and raise concerns calmly with specific examples. If colleagues are also affected, consider addressing the issue collectively.
• Protect yourself: Set boundaries, prioritise wellbeing, and create space outside work. Emotional detachment can help restore perspective.
• Use HR carefully: If your organisation has a strong HR record, confiding in them may help—but first assess whether bad behaviour is genuinely addressed.
• Know when to escalate: If behaviour becomes abusive or poses reputational risk, formal whistleblowing may be necessary, though fear of retaliation can make this difficult.

For workers like Maya, the cost of staying became too high. But her story—and those of many others—highlights a broader truth: toxic leadership doesn’t just drive people out of jobs; it leaves lasting scars on mental health and careers.

Source: BBC.com

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